In 2012, after eight years of working in the banking industry, I left my job in Chennai due to unforeseen circumstances at home. My father's illness demanded my presence, but my job left me with little time to be with him. When I tried to re-enter the job market after a few months, I found the economy in the grip of a recession, and opportunities were scarce. Offers did come, but none materialized into a stable job.
In 2013, I secured a position at Genpact, only to face another setback nine months later when the process I was working on was relocated somewhere else. Unable to move due to family responsibilities, I declined the offer. This period marked the beginning of my depression. The one who emanated the vibe of cheerfulness gradually transformed into a person hollow from inside, overcome by irritability and anxiety.
I abandoned my passions and interests, stopped traveling, and withdrew from my social circle. My basic grooming habits deteriorated, and I let my beard grow unchecked. I struggled to understand what was happening to me, feeling increasingly hollow and irritable.
My career, relationships, and finances were all in disarray. Freelance projects provided some income, but it was far from stable. The situation worsened with the demonetization in 2016.
In my darkest moments, I attempted suicide twice. The first time, I crashed my car at high speed into a divider, emerging with bruises but alive. The second time, I was about to jump into a stream but the thought of my son stopped me.
Many things happened during this time which I realized later when I recovered. I impulsively left everything and everyone one day, randomly sitting in a truck. I ended up in various places, working at a dhaba, washing utensils, and doing whatever I could to survive.
During this time, I felt a profound sense of loss—not of others, but of myself. I missed the person I used to be, the joy and vibrancy that defined me. There came a point when I regained some sense of reality. Overcome with guilt and missing my family and friends I called them, and they found me in Kolkata. My family, deeply worried, helped me begin a journey of recovery through natural therapy and yoga.
Gradually, my health improved. When my family took me back, I was barely recognizable, but I began to recover. The journey was long and arduous, but I emerged from the darkness with a renewed sense of self. Through yoga and inner strength, I found a way to navigate the challenges that still persist in my life.
Despite ongoing challenges, I strive to stay happy and content with my choices. Life is about the choices we make and the paths we take.
The taboo around mental health persists, but my journey has shown me the importance of self-awareness and support. Meditation, talking to oneself, and embracing all emotions, including sadness, are crucial. Cry if you need to, for even negative emotions have their place. In the end, life is about staying happy and being true to yourself. Despite the imperfections and challenges, I continue to pursue my purpose: to stay happy and help others find their path to healing.
My experiences have taught me profound lessons about depression. I advocate for proactive support for those struggling with mental health issues. It is not enough to tell someone to reach out when they need help; we must actively reach out to them.
Often, those struggling with depression aren't just missing social activities or relationships; they're missing themselves the most. They may push others away, but it's essential not to give up on them. Sitting with them, reassuring them of your support, and letting them know they're not alone can make a significant difference.
Learning to control your mind is key to overcoming anxiety and depression. Healing can take time, varying for each individual. A strong support system is essential, and I urge people to reach out and support those in need.
~Anonymous
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