Stubbornness is a personality trait that many people possess. A stubborn person is someone who refuses to consider points of view that are different to the ones they hold and may be resistant to change. Such a trait can be positive, driving innovation and change, and negative, leading to conflicts and challenges in collaboration. On the positive side, a stubborn person may stick firmly to their beliefs, decisions, or opinions, which allows them to persist in their goals, showing resilience in the face of difficulties. They tend to rely on their judgment and may resist external influence or advice. Stubbornness, in this sense, can be viewed as perseverance.
However, stubbornness can become a difficult trait to deal with when it goes beyond a certain extent. You might have observed this with someone like your parents or someone else from a different generation who is attached to their beliefs and refuses to change their ways. They may refuse to consider your 'modern' way of doing things in arguments. Another example could be a coworker who chooses to stick to their way of doing things at work despite there being evidence that there is a quicker and easier way to go about it. In relationships, dealing with a stubborn partner can be tricky.
Stubbornness as a trait turns out to be a significant pain when you're in an argument or when there is a disagreement. The person before you refuses to budge; what can you do? Dealing with stubborn people can be challenging, but it is essential to remember that everyone has their perspective and reasons for their behavior.
It is a human tendency to feel that you are right - you spend so much time cultivating your beliefs and values and leading your life according to them. Now imagine someone coming along and telling you you've got it all wrong! When your beliefs are challenged, it sends you into a state of cognitive dissonance. To reduce this discomfort of being proven wrong, people indulge in stubbornness.
Some people are naturally more stubborn than others. Talking to such individuals can feel like talking to a wall because they often refuse to listen. The takeaway here is that you should not necessarily look at how to fix stubbornness but rather ways to work with it. It may seem impossible to reason with a stubborn person, but it is possible to navigate difficult situations and reach a resolution with patience and effort.
How to deal with these Individuals?
As discussed above, there are some strategies you can adopt to deal with stubbornness. Let's take a look at seven ways to do this:
1. Don't take it personally
Before beginning this discussion, the first thing to remember is that it is not your job to fix a stubborn person's thinking. You may want to, but you don't have to. Try to keep a distance and avoid taking it on as a responsibility to change a stubborn person's mindset. This will also help you avoid getting overly emotional during arguments. Losing your cool can make you seem unreasonable, making it more challenging to get your point across. If you find yourself getting frustrated or overly emotional, it's okay to take a step back and calm down first. Only step back into the conversation if you want to.
2. Listen Actively
Try to understand the other person's perspective by listening actively to what they have to say. Pay attention to their words, tone, and body language to gain a better understanding of their feelings and motivations. Once you understand their perspective, it might be easier for you to get through to them or to understand why they're so stuck on what they have to say.
3. Pick Your Approach Wisely
You can either work towards persuading a stubborn person through logic and reason or by using an emotional appeal. If you listen actively, you might be able to catch the kind of approach the person in front of you is taking in the argument. For example, if they're backing up their words with facts, it might be a wiser option for you to do the same. If they reach out more to explain the emotional rationale behind their words, you may be able to win them over better by using a similar approach.
4. Communicate Clearly and Show Empathy
Show empathy for the other person's situation, even if you do not agree with their behavior. By showing understanding and compassion, you can create a more positive and productive environment for resolving the issue. Be clear and concise when communicating with the other person. State your position and the reasons behind it in a calm and respectful manner. Avoid using accusatory or judgmental language, which can escalate the situation.
5. Be Willing to Compromise
The goal should not be to prove the other person wrong and yourself right but rather to resolve the conflict effectively. Look for areas of agreement or common ground between you and the other person. This can help to establish a sense of rapport and create a foundation for resolving the issue. If the other person is being stubborn about a particular issue, offer alternative solutions or compromises that can help to address their concerns while also meeting your needs.
6. Set your Boundaries in Place
Being empathetic and understanding is important, but only to an extent. When working with a stubborn person, it is very important to set your boundaries. If the other person's behavior is unacceptable or disruptive, it may be necessary to set clear boundaries to protect yourself and others. Let them know what is and is not acceptable, and be prepared to follow through with consequences if necessary.
7. Seek Outside Help
If you are unable to resolve the issue on your own, consider seeking outside help from a mediator, counselor, or another professional. They can provide a neutral perspective and help facilitate a productive conversation.
Takeaway
In conclusion, dealing with stubborn people requires patience, empathy, and effective communication. It can be frustrating when someone refuses to budge on a particular issue, but everyone has their own perspective and reasons for their behavior.
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Finding common ground and offering alternatives can help to create a sense of rapport and facilitate a mutually beneficial solution. However, it is also important to set boundaries and seek outside help if necessary. It takes time and effort to deal with stubborn people, but by approaching the situation with a calm and respectful attitude, you can create a more harmonious relationship and reach a resolution that works for everyone.
