When I was in 6th class, I joined a dance class to follow my passion. It felt like I had found a way to connect with my true self. I was excited and joyful, believing I had found something to pour my heart into. But that joy soon turned into a nightmare-one that would haunt me for years.
In 7th class, one of my dance teachers began verbally abusing me. It started with uncomfortable comments, cunning remarks, and the kind of attention that made my skin crawl. He would make inappropriate comments, and I constantly felt uneasy and confused. I wanted to tell my parents, but our family was already dealing with so many issues, so I didn’t want to add burdens. Since childhood, I had been told, "She's just a girl, and a weak one at that," which made me feel even more helpless.
As time passed, the abuse became more threatening. The teacher would touch me inappropriately and say things like, "You're mine,” which made me uncomfortable. He never once showed any guilt for his actions. After my sister ran away, he had the audacity to get involved in our family matters. My mother trusted him completely, seeing him as a family figure, and he took advantage of that trust. He started abusing me further, threatening, "If you tell anyone, your reputation will be ruined... just like your sister who ran away to marry. Imagine the shame it would bring to your father."
After a year, when I was in 8th grade, the managing director of the dance school began sexually harassing me as well. Their relentless torment consumed me. Whenever I came close to speaking out, they would immediately come to my house and fabricate stories. To cover up their heinous acts, they told my mother, "Your daughter is mentally weak and doesn’t understand what’s happening because she’s possessed by a spirit. We would give her a tabij for protection."
At 12, the dance teacher's abuse escalated. He raped me repeatedly and forced me to take contraceptive pills. When I resisted, he beat me. My body suffered immensely, and I bleed 6-7 times a month. At that time, I hated dance. More than that, I hated myself.
I also cried alone and felt too scared to confess to anyone. I failed my 10th-class exams and felt like my life was spiraling out of control. The pain was unbearable, and at one point, I attempted suicide by trying to jump out of a window, but my mother stopped me. I locked myself in a room, feeling completely isolated.
During the darkest period of my life, Ankur entered my world. He showed me kindness and understanding at a time when I had shut myself off from everything and everyone. Even though the dance teacher continued to threaten me and tried to scare Ankur away, his love never wavered. Ankur always stood by my side and helped me see that I was not to blame for what happened to me. He made me realize that I had been abused and that the shame I felt wasn't mine to carry.
For the first time in years, I felt seen and cared for. Ankur became my support system, guiding me back to my studies and talking with me for hours. His presence in my life was like a healing balm for my broken soul. We dated for five years, and through every challenge, Ankur was there, steadfast in his love and encouragement.
Last year, I gathered the courage to file an FIR against abusers. It was a difficult decision, made even more difficult by the reactions of some relatives or family members. Many of them turned their backs on me, saying I had a bad impact on their children and even encouraging my mother to throw me out of the house. They feared the societal reaction, but I could no longer remain silent.
Ankur and I decided to marry, knowing that we were prepared to face whatever came our way. Together, we have decided to fight for justice-not just for me but for the countless others who have suffered in silence.
My scars haven’t fully healed today, and maybe they never will. The pain I tolerated has left deep wounds that may take a lifetime to heal. But with Ankur by my side, each day feels a little brighter. He is my home, my strength, and my greatest source of comfort.
I am still waiting for justice. The road ahead is long, but I hold onto hope, not just for myself but for all those who have faced similar demons. It is horrifying to think that perpetrators like mine are still walking free. But I believe that speaking out is important, no matter how challenging, is the first step toward change. I continue to fight, not just for my justice but for the justice of others. I know the journey has not been easy, and it may never be. But with love, courage, and support, we can continue to push for a world where silence is no longer an option.
~ Prarona Bordoloi
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