Picture this: you're at home on a weekend. You declined the plan your friends made to go out because you thought you needed some time for yourself. Suddenly, you get a notification on your phone - it's a text from your friend telling you they miss you. Going through your social media feed, you see a picture of your friends laughing and having a great time together. You had declined the invitation earlier in the week because you thought you needed some time to yourself. But now, seeing everyone having such a great time without you, you start to feel left out. You can't help but wonder if you made the wrong decision.
Does this sound familiar? This feeling of being out of the loop is something all of us experience at some point of time.
Understanding FOMO
FOMO is the fear of missing out. It is the fear or anxiety that something interesting is happening somewhere, and you are not part of it. It may feel like others are having more fun than you and enjoying their life while you're stuck elsewhere doing things that are 'not fun'. This apprehensive feeling is especially common with adolescents and young adults.
You see people doing so much, getting on with their lives, having amazing experiences - it all makes it feel like you're doing something wrong. It may lead you to ask yourself - why am I not having this much fun? We often do this without realizing that people only showcase their best moments on social media, but the fear of missing out still gets the best of us!
FOMO has become a common phenomenon in the modern world. While it is not a new concept, the advent of social media has definitely brought it to the forefront. Because social media is structured in a way that leads to social comparison, FOMO becomes inevitable. As humans, we have an inherent need to belong and be part of a group. When we feel excluded or perceive that others are enjoying experiences without us, it triggers a fear response. This is a natural reaction, but it can lead to negative feelings and anxiety if not managed properly. It can lead to constant dissatisfaction, anxiety, and even depression. When we are always worried about missing out, we fail to appreciate the present moment and what we already have. This constant state of comparison can erode our self-esteem and overall well-being.
So the question arises - what can you do to let go of FOMO?
Let's Talk About JOMO
This is where JOMO comes in. JOMO is the joy of missing out - it is the opposite of FOMO. JOMO is all about paying attention to yourself, listening to what you want to do and honoring those choices. It represents the idea that you can find happiness by doing things differently than others. You don't need to do everything your peers are doing; you can choose to live life at your own pace.
At its core, the idea behind JOMO is to be mindful. Mindfulness means being aware of yourself - your thoughts, emotions and feelings - and living in the present moment. JOMO encourages you to be happy and content where you are. It goes beyond a momentary practice; it is a lifestyle you cultivate through deliberate practice.
Letting go of FOMO and embracing JOMO is a good practice if you are someone who struggles with anxiety or low self-esteem because it allows you to live in the present and prioritize yourself over others.
How JOMO Changes the Game
You feel obligated to attend an event, even though you do not really want to go. If you succumb to FOMO, you will attend the event out of fear of missing out, even if it does not bring you joy. However, if you embrace and choose to honor your own desires and stay true to yourself, it might not be half bad. This shift in mindset can change the game.
After years of looking around you and feeling bad about your choices, thinking of everything you missed out on, it can be refreshing to sit back and be proud of the choices you've made and backing up the choices that you will make in the future.
Shifting from FOMO to JOMO can have numerous benefits for our mental and emotional well-being:
- JOMO encourages you to focus on the present and appreciate your current experiences.
- Letting go of the constant need to be involved with others and 'having fun', you can relieve yourself of a fair bit of anxiety and stress.
- Valuing your own choices can help you develop higher self-esteem and enhance self-worth.
- Being engaged at the moment instead of focusing on what could've been can also help you enhance your relationships, allowing you to build meaningful and deeper connections with those around you.
- An intentional approach to life, like JOMO, will help you avoid making impulsive decisions.
Tips for Managing FOMO and Embracing JOMO
Now that we know the benefits of letting go of FOMO and embracing JOMO, how do we do this? Here are some tips:
1. Get Away From Social Media
As we discussed above, the advent of social media is something that has significantly increased the amount of FOMO we feel on a day to day basis. Stepping away from social media and reducing usage can be a helpful strategy in letting go of FOMO. Keep the following things in mind:
- Not everything you see is true: People only showcase their best life on social media. Most of what you see on your feed about people's daily lives is superficial in nature. You only see the best moments, but not what goes on behind them.
- Know what sets you off: Is it a specific app, a particular person's posts, or certain types of content that set off the alarm in your brain and cause you to feel like you're missing out? It can be helpful to identify these triggers and steer clear of them.
- Be intentional in your usage: Instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media, try to be intentional with your usage. Setting specific times for checking social media and sticking to them can be helpful.
- Avoid comparison: Social media should be used as a tool for connection, not comparison. Try to keep this in mind when using these apps.
2. Be In The Present
One of the most powerful ways to combat FOMO is to be present in the moment by cultivating mindfulness. Here are some techniques to help you stay grounded:
- Slow down and breathe: Whenever you feel your mind spiralling, take a step back, close your eyes, breathe in through your nose, breathe out through your mouth, and bring your focus back to the present.
- Practice gratitude: Reflect on the things you are grateful for. This can help shift your mindset from what you lack to what you have.
- Listen to yourself: Listen to yourself - what do you want to do today? Even if it's not what your peers are doing, stick to your decision and be proud of the choice you made. This will help you avoid engaging in activities just for the sake of it.
3. Do What You Love
Now that you've made a conscious decision to do things with intentionality, the next thing in line is to figure out what it is that you want to invest your time in. Here's what you can do:
- Take out time for self-care: Self-care doesn't mean sit down with a face mask on - you can do anything that feels good to you. The core idea is to give time to yourself. Engaging in activities that make you happy can help shift your focus away from what you might be missing out on.
- Make a list: Create a list of things that you love to do. This can include anything and everything - reading, singing, drawing, going for a walk, making a call to your friend - the list is endless. Try to keep this list as an easily accessible place so you can refer to it and do whatever seems nice to you.
- Build connections: When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart with a loved one? Take out time to sit down and talk - this can help promote better mental health. Spending time doing shared activities with people you love can be a great way to build connections.
If you are still having a hard time, you can consider seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. A mental health professional can offer you a safe space and provide their guidance and support, allowing you to effectively navigate through your fears and provide you with ways to cope.
Takeaway
Moving from FOMO to JOMO is about shifting your focus from what you are missing out on to what you already have. Embracing the present moment, being mindful of your choices, and practicing intentionality can help you cultivate a sense of contentment and joy.
Solh Wellness can help you to deal with FOMO and embrace JOMO.
Explore a range of informative articles to understand and learn more about FOMO and how to overcome it.
Connect with a like-minded community that understands you through our support groups, share your experiences, and hear from those who may have dealt with similar problems. It's like social media, minus the pressure to only talk about your best moments.
Reach out to our range of qualified mental health professionals for guidance and make your way towards self-growth.
Remember, it is okay to miss out on some things. In fact, missing out can often lead to richer, more fulfilling experiences that align with your true self. So, the next time you feel the pang of FOMO, take a deep breath and embrace the joy of missing out.
