In an interconnected world, Emotional Intelligence (EQ) plays a pivotal role in the way we interact with others. The ability to understand our emotions as well as relate to those of others is a crucial skill that can improve the way we interact both personally and professionally.
Emotional intelligence, in short EQ, is the ability to understand, use and manage our own emotions while also recognizing and empathizing with the emotions of others. It goes beyond self-awareness as it involves an in-depth understanding of your and others' emotions to connect at a deeper level. A crucial component of EQ is empathy, which involves putting yourself in someone else's shoes to truly understand their perspectives and gain insight into their feelings or needs. It requires active and patient listening, without making judgments or assumptions.
Openly communicate
Empathetic interactions with others create a comfortable and supportive environment for open communication where individuals feel understood and valued. Approaching interactions with empathy builds a sense of trust and respect which in turn cultivates healthy and long-lasting relationships.
Respond better
Empathy involves emotional regulation, both of oneself and others. By understanding and empathizing with others' emotions, we can respond more appropriately and supportively. We learn to better resolve challenging situations, calm tense moments and resolve conflicts or disagreements.
Forge stronger bonds
When we are more self-aware of our emotions and attuned to those of others, we listen more attentively and are quick to pick up on non-verbal cues. As relationships are a two-way street, this goes a long way in forging stronger or deeper bonds.
Enhance leadership skills
Empathy is a crucial skill for effective leadership. Leaders who demonstrate empathy better connect with their team members and foster a positive work culture. Empathy allows leaders to make informed decisions, motivate others with a genuine understanding of their needs and aspirations and in turn inspire trust and loyalty.
Sound mentoring
When you empathize with others and have a fair understanding of their needs or motivations in life, you find more people seeking your support or advice. The joy of nurturing and seeing people grow under your wing is very rewarding.
The Role of Relationships in Child Development and Attachment
Humans are predisposed to be social to understand and interact with the world around them. Relationships are a principal process through which various biological, environmental, and contextual factors mutually affect and strengthen each other. Relationships that are culturally responsive, trustful, and reciprocal are a positive developmental influence for the dynamism between the child and their physical and social contexts. Such meaningful and positive relationships establish the optimal idiographic developmental pathways that operate as the underlying foundation for enduring patterns of learning, adaptation, the amalgamation of affective, social, and cognitive processes, and volition that over time, shape the genetic make-up of a child.
Infants are reasonably helpless at birth and this continues for some time after birth. The infant is born with limited sensory abilities and this makes them vulnerable. Gradually children form relationships, interact with others, and are able to understand and manage one’s feelings. An important milestone during infancy is forming healthy attachment. Psychologists like, Harlow, Bowlby and Ainsworth were interested in knowing how infants reach this milestone.
Historical Background of Attachment Theory
Attachment has been defined as ‘a long enduring, emotionally meaningful tie to a particular individual’ (Schaffer, 1996). The attachment theory finds its origin in the aftermath of the Second World War when families disintegrated and children were separated or lost their parents. Families were fragmented due to indiscreet bombardment on civilian targets and the neverending ambitions of the forces to recruit more people in order to retain supremacy in the war. Anna Freud along with Dorothy Burlingham set up the Hampstead Nurseries, which were shelters for children who lost their parents to the war. These children were between the ages of zero and ten and pinned in grief desperately for their caregivers, even though they received good quality care at the shelters. Some researchers have shown a positive association between the security of attachment to mothers and the security of attachment to teachers. Interestingly, security of attachment to both is related positively to the understanding of emotion and regulating anger (Denham et al, 2003). Many other researchers claim that the nature of our attachment during infancy impacts our abilities to relate to others, throughout our lives.
Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
John Bowlby, the British child psychiatrist, and founder of attachment theory described attachment as a ‘lasting psychological connectedness between human beings’. Bowlby formulated a theory on the relationship (attachment relationship) between the caregiver and the infant. The theory majorly relied on the works of psychoanalytic theory, ethological theory, and cognitive and developmental psychology. The theory states that infants are programmed to respond to their caregivers and caregivers are also biologically programmed to respond to the cues from an infant. Oxytocin, ‘the cuddle hormone’ is produced primarily in the hypothalamus that plays a pivotal role in facilitating this bond in humans and animals (Feldman, 2016). Bowlby (1958) revealed three phases in the reaction of young children when their bond with their loved one was challenged. In the first phase, the child protests and tries to undo the separation. After this phase, despair sets in when the child is fixated on the absent parent but remains in a passive role. In the third phase, after a couple of weeks or months, the child actively detaches himself/herself/themselves from the missing parent and starts engaging with the new caregiver.In the words of Bowlby, ‘you do as you have been done by’
Harlow’s Experiment on ‘Contact Comfort’
Harlow and Zimmerman (1959) did a series of experiments with monkeys. Monkeys were reared by two surrogate mothers- a wire mother and a cloth mother. Half of the rhesus monkey were ‘fed’ by the wire mother and other half were fed by the cloth mother. Who would you predict the infants were attached with more? Probably the mother who fed them. The answer is no! Irrespective of which mother fed them, the monkey infants kept clinging and cuddling with the cloth mother. The infants would run to the contact mother when they were upset or afraid and demonstrated considerable attachment with the cloth mother. Harlow’s work manifested the importance of contact comfort. Contact comfort is the comforting tactile sensation provided by the soft and cuddly mother and is a more important contributor towards developing attachment in the rhesus infants than feeding. Similar findings have been reported in humans too.
Attachment Theory
In the contemporary world, where women have managed both motherhood and careers, attachment theory has been looked at with a controversial lens (Domenico & Jones,2006). The issues that became pertinent was whether the absence of mother would have a damaging impact on the children’s development. However, Bowlby, since the very beginning has maintained that the attachment figure can be any other caregiver as well. Bowlby’s notion of monotropic attachment has also received criticism form Schaffer and Emerson (1964) who demonstrated that children develop more than one strong bond and the figure need not be the mother alone but anyone else who is close and responsive to the child’s need.
Conclusion
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and attachment theory both stress the significant influence of relationships on human development. EQ is important in building meaningful relationships, improving communication, and building strong personal and professional relationships based on empathy and self-awareness. Attachment theory also stresses the foundational nature of early attachments in influencing emotional and social well-being throughout life.
The historical and psychological understanding of attachment, from Bowlby's and Harlow's work, demonstrate that emotional security is not only derived from physical care but also from warmth, responsiveness, and contact. While early perspectives attributed attachment mainly to the presence of the mother, recent research recognizes that caregivers other than the mother can offer critical emotional support.
In an increasingly interconnected and changing world, being able to understand emotions in ourselves and others enables us to trust, foster relationships, and become resilient. In child development , in leadership, or in everyday interactions, secure attachment and empathy are necessary components of personal and societal health. Identifying and developing these elements can result in healthier, more satisfying relationships throughout life.
