Parenting is not an easy journey by any right. When your child belongs to the LGBTQ+ community, it brings in a whole new set of challenges. Studies show that LGBTQ+ youth are at elevated risk for poor mental and physical health compared with heterosexual and cisgender peers, which means it is very important to provide them with support and acceptance, so that they can feel safe. This relational transaction explains why a parent figure can be of great help to a child by offering support in terms of making the child feel that they belong, that they are worth it and that they have a fighting chance.
That is why, if you are a parent and your child belongs to the LGBTQ+ community, or they recently realized their non-heterosexual orientation, this blog may be useful for you.
Why is Acceptance So Important?
Acceptance is very crucial as we all know from the knowledge or experience we have gained in life. Approval is one of those vital aspects that are required fundamentally in every human being. The desire to interact with people is a universal one within every member of a society. Every person looks for friends and acquaintances and people with similar beliefs and orientations in which he can discuss things and spend time with. Our social support systems typically consist of our family, our friends, co-workers or peers, and others. Family is the one block of this system that is there with us from the starting, which is why having support and acceptance from them becomes a big deal for us.
These needs are even more pronounced for LGBTQ individuals who often face societal discrimination and stigma.
For LGBTQ children, acceptance from their family forms the bedrock of their social support system. Having a supportive family can help them feel understood, valued, and loved for who they are. When parents accept and support their LGBTQ children, it sets the stage for them to live fulfilling lives. Acceptance enables them to embrace their identity with confidence, pursue their dreams, and form healthy relationships. Family acceptance has been shown to protect children from suicidal behavior, depression, and substance use.
What Acceptance Looks Like
As a parent, it can be initially difficult to come to terms with your child coming out and you might need some time to adjust. Some parents might react negatively initially, coming around later. Others might be accepting right away, while some might not be accepting at all.
For children, it can be heartbreaking to not have their parents accept them for who they are and invalidate their identity. As a parent, you may need to be sensitive to this fact and provide your child what they need, which in this case might be acceptance for their identity. Even if you did not have a very favorable reaction initially, it’s fine to start over and learn on how you can support your child in a better way at present.
Here is what acceptance can look like:
- Asking your child questions to learn more about them and their experiences
- Listening to them without interrupting and providing a safe space to express themselves
- Providing support in the form of words of reassurance
- Standing up for them if they are being discriminated against by teachers, peers, family, and so on
- Letting your child know you are there for them
Showing your support in these ways can be life changing for your child. It’s okay to gradually open up to expressing your support in more outright ways, but you can start with the little things.
How Can You As a Parent Be There For Your LGBTQ Child?
Educate Yourself
One of the first steps in showing acceptance is to educate yourself about LGBTQ issues. It would save some time maybe to find out about the experiences, difficulties, and concepts related to the community in advance. This will assist you to comprehend your child angle in a proper manner while at the same time enable you to help him. This education may be obtained by listening to your child’s lived experiences and other avenues such as reading some educational content, books, or even joining support groups.
Ask Questions
People should not be afraid to ask about things they don’t know or things they consider bizarre. One has to bear in mind that these are discussions that must be entered into with an open mind. Ensure that the questions are asked without prejudice. Thus, your child would probably be comfortable knowing that you are trying to comprehend their gender and other events.
Listen Actively
It has also been discovered that listening is one of the most significant strategies of support. When speaking of active listening, one has to focus and listen to the other person without passing judgement and with the intent to understand the other party. Another practical way of practicing it is to allow your child to speak about whatever is on their mind and/or what happened to them in their day without cutting them off or lecturing them on why that happened.
Be There For Them
A parent’s presence and support are always invaluable for a child. Even if you may not fully understand their experiences, showing that you are there for your child unconditionally can make a huge difference. Try to be a source of comfort and reassurance for them. Let them know that you are proud of who they are and that you are there for them and will stand by them.
Create a Safe Home Environment
Make sure your home environment is welcoming for your LGBTQ child. This implies living gently – paying attention to what you say and do, and any attitude that is exhibited. One can just ‘zone out’ and then inadvertently offend someone - and it is alright be clumsy once in a while. But effort and being more conscious of the situation is crucial. Respect in the home can be as simple as refraining from saying something negative or derogatory about the members of the LGBTQIA+ community, and standing up against bigotry as and when seen or experienced within the household. Your home must be the place your child feels safe and surrounded by love as well as the place in which they can be themselves.
Look Out For Signs of Distress
As we talked about above, LGBTQ youth are more likely to develop poor mental and physical health. As a parent, you can help by looking out for signs of distress. For example, LGBTQ children often get bullied at school, but may have a hard time seeking help for it. If you see signs such as sudden change in behavior, low mood, declining grades, or engagement in risky behavior, consider intervening.
Provide Mental Health Support
Mental health support is crucial for LGBTQ children, as they may face unique challenges and stressors in their day to day life. In case you think your child needs professional help, encourage them to seek therapy. Be proactive in supporting their mental health by fostering a positive and nurturing environment.
Takeaway
Showing acceptance and love for your LGBTQ child is essential in ensuring their well-being and happiness. It’s all about making small changes to show you care and accept your child for who they are. Even if you initially did not have the best reaction, it is never too late to come around. We all make mistakes, but the important thing is to learn from them and move on.
Solh Wellness can be your companion for when you or your child needs a helping hand. Explore a range of self help resources, including educational content. Connect with a like-minded community that understands you through our support groups, share your experiences, and get advice from those who may have dealt with similar problems. You can also look for inclusive and queer-affirmative mental health professionals who can provide a space for your child, in case they need professional help.
Happy pride month!
